There has been so much on my mind lately, and an unbelievable amount of things in my life have occurred. Since my last entry, my life has drastically changed. It was less than three months ago when I ranted about "not being strong anymore". I was so done putting on my brave face. Then I resigned to just hand everything over to God and let my life take shape as it should. I realized I was interfering too much in my own life.
I don't get religious too often for a reason...but this bible verse completely jumped out at me today and I absolutely have to honor that.
Over the past few months, I have had a complete change of heart in what I want my future to look like. It looks so different than when I first got divorced. I have met an incredible group of people that I'm so proud to call my friends and coworkers and work family. I've made connections that I am positive will be life long. These people were brought into my life for a reason, and I was brought into their lives for a reason too. My nickname during ground school was "Momma Linda", and I really do care about these people.
The more I relax about my own future and just let things unfold, I am noticing the struggles that others are going through. Relationship issues, personal struggles, financial problems, depression...the list goes on and on. I hope that I have the words of encouragement that lift them up or help them find the help they need to work on the issues themselves.
Then there is my best friend...I absolutely believe God blessed me with her because she is the only person that can handle me, understand me, sympathize with me, identify my needs and completely anticipate my moods and reactions to the events life throws at me.
God really is watching out for me. I have had people brought into my life that have absolutely changed me. I have had more passion, drive, happiness, sense of accomplishment and pride in myself than I have EVER experienced in my life. My children have seen my true self emerge. I am trying to balance that with helping them understand this is a process they will be going through as well someday. I really do believe this is what "finding yourself" looks like.
This week my oldest daughter turns 21, my ex husband and his girlfriend are visiting from Minnesota and the kids will meet her, I will be traveling as much as possible (to mostly avoid that), and I will be in one of the happiest phases in my life. I am cautiously optimistic however, because it seems like when everything is going so well, there will always be something that creeps in and tries to steal your joy and happiness, tries to break you, tries to bring you down. I have to remember that God is watching out for me. He knows what is in my best interest. Hard times put the shine into the diamond (Dierks Bentley~Riser). And I plan on shining bright for a long time.
