And so...the adventure begins!

You may notice a new design, a new title and new feel to my blog. If you have been with me from the beginning, this started out as "Limitless Linda ~ The Creation of Ms. Wallace".  Then, about a year into my blogging, I felt the need to change the title to "The Discovery of Ms. Wallace". I'm thrilled to have made it through the toughest 2 1/2 years of my life, and I'm ready for yet another Blog Title.  Limitless Linda ~ The Adventures of Ms. Wallace.

I took time to CREATE a new life. I then spent many months DISCOVERING myself, my hopes, dreams, fears, and plans for the future. Now comes the fun part. The next chapter is all about ADVENTURES. This may sound like it will be a travel blog, but traveling will likely be the least of my upcoming adventures. I am focusing on career, leadership, teaching and mentoring, and yes, along with my job at Horizon Air, I am sure there will be a few travel adventures as well. I am beyond excited for the coming year. I am hoping you will follow along with me and watch my world change before your very eyes.

Thinking good thoughts...

"Your thoughts are incredibly powerful. They actually govern not only you but those around you. Think about it, if you think positively about the people you’re around, their lives are better. This is why people “send positive energy” or pray for other people. It actually makes a difference. Your thoughts create endless ripples — even waves — of consequence all around you."
https://journal.thriveglobal.com/if-youre-too-busy-for-these-5-things-your-life-is-more-off-course-than-you-think-b54f102598b0
I read this article today and it definitely spoke to me. For nearly three years now, I have been consciously trying to follow my passions. With the tips and guidance in this article, I feel like I will be able to fine tune the areas of my life that still need to get on track.
I'm very happy I chose the path I did after my divorce. I think of how different everything would be if I had stayed in victim mode, remained angry or sought out revenge. I truly believe in the power of positivity and living out 
your passion. Please take a few minutes and explore the link to the article above. 

Last time for everything

I heard this song a few weeks ago for the first time.

I was filled with a profound sense of nostalgia, sadness and loss. I spent a few moments with these feeling, listening to the lyrics and ruminating over things in my life that have happened, both routine and what some consider tragic, when my feelings took a turn for the positive. Immediately I began to look at things differently. 

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 reminds us there there is a time and season for everything under the heavens. I have been so afraid to let go, trying to have control over things and even people, that I forget I am not the one in control here. I need to surrender. I need to step back and allow what is best for me to take place.

To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

2 A time to be born, a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; 

4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; 

5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

6 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

7 A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

8 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace. 

With every last time usually comes a first time for something else. I pray your firsts are full of adventure and love.

Headwaters...

Headwaters are the source of a river or stream, the literal waters that feed the river. There are a number of ways to define headwaters, and a number of potential sources of water to feed rivers and streams. In some cultures, people have mystical associations with these waters, especially those of major rivers which play a vital role in their communities, and these people may view the place as the source of life for the community as well as the literal source of water for the stream. As a result, shrines are sometimes established at sites identified as headwaters.

One way to think about headwaters is to imagine walking along the banks of a river or stream until it vanished. This furthest point along the river could be considered the headwaters. Some people consider this to be the furthest conceivable point from which water could flow in a watershed, whether or not the place is bearing water, and as a result, the location may move around. Others consider the headwaters to be the furthest point that supplies water throughout the year, making the location a stable, static place.        Source: wiseGEEK.com

My room in Yakima tonight has a balcony that overlooks the Naches River. It's flowing fast, it's just loud enough to use as white noise while I sleep (as long as I also crank the heat up in my room), and it's the perfect backdrop for reflection while I write. 

I'm envious of this water. I feel the need for movement in my life. So much has happened over the past two and a half years. I'm in a place I couldn't have ever imagined back then. However, I am once again at the point of "whats next"? I have experienced so much grown and change, yet I am eager for more. For some reason I haven't been doing as many of the smaller things that brought me so much joy...dancing, painting, concerts. Granted, my schedule is crazy with flying, and when I'm home, I just want to spend time with my children. But the urge is growing...I feel another change coming on and I just can't seem to identify the source of the anticipation.

Oh, and on a side note, the ex is getting married this week! I'm genuinely very happy for him, but he probably will never understand or want to believe that. It's not that I think he wants me to be miserable about it, but I just don't think he realizes I'm so over our relationship that I've been happy for him for a really long time! Good for him! I hope he makes this one last another twenty years. As for myself, I am thoroughly enjoying discovering my strengths, working on improving myself, and accomplishing my dreams. Cheers Ben! I probably won't ever tell you in person, but I wish you and Kelsey much success in your second marriages.

I am where I am TODAY

Tomorrow is my 2nd Divorciversary...January 31, 2015 I became a single woman after 20 years of marriage.  In those 20 years, I experienced what I believe were the happiest moments of my life...the birth of each one of my four amazing children, numerous milestones with each one, high school and college graduations, and so on and so forth. While listening to and watching Brad Paisley's song "Today", it dawned on me that lately I've been feeling like all the milestone and happiest moments of my life have already taken place.

I then took a few moments to reflect on the past two years. I've taken my kids to Disneyland, my son to MLB games, my youngest to Anchorage, Alaska, sent another daughter to Washington DC, visited my oldest a few times while she was working at Pebble Beach, I've been skydiving, learned to paint, performed burlesque, changed CAREERS, seen Niagara Falls, fallen in and out of love, survived disappointment, heartbreak, financial issues, lost my father to colon cancer, and SO MUCH MORE. I feel I have LIVED and EXPERIENCED more in the last two years than I ever had in the past. I am bursting with pride because of how resilient my kids have been through all the changes. I'm proud of myself for keeping my chin up and being positive 99.7% of the time.

I feel like I have made it through the worst of times. I have faith that more "happiest moments of my life" are still ahead of me. I believe I will be even more in love and have an amazing relationship with someone I can grow old with, I'll see my children raise families of their own, and I'll travel to places I had once only dreamed of. I vow to never lose hope, to always have dreams to pursue, to inspire my children to follow their passions, and always keep smiling...being grateful for everything I am blessed with.

I have also reached the rule of 10% (Being divorced 10% of the length of the time I was married). This holds another significance for me. I'm moving on. I'm happy with my choices, my children, my career, my health, my friends, and my future. My goal? Make every TODAY something I want to remember and look back on fondly. 

'Twas the night before birthday...

Twas the night before birthday and all through the house
Laundry was washing, uniform pants and a blouse
The towels were all folded and stacked with great care
Underwear and socks piled up on the chair

The birthday girl (me) sprawled across my king bed
While memories of the past year ran through my head
While Liz in her Jammie's and Danny in shorts
Were finishing homework and writing reports

When straight from my cell phone arose a great noise
I turned and retrieved it expecting great joys
Alas it was nothing more than a new email chime
I dropped the phone down and resigned to bedtime

I stood up to close the blinds for the night
But froze in my steps at the beautiful sight
The last bit of sun on the horizons expanse
Demanded attention not just a quick glance

I stood and I stared at the beautify sky
And choked back the tears welling up in my eye
Another day gone, not just any day
The last day of the year before my birthday

My children, new friends
A Job that I love
My health, my home
So much I'm proud of
From the start of the day
To the end of the night
I give thanks and pray that
I keep up the good fight

As dry leaves before the wild hurricane breeze
When met with obstacles, we drop to our knees
So down I went to give thanks and request
Courage and comfort and plenty of rest

And then in a moment I felt in my soul
The peaceful feeling I had as my goal
As I stood from my prayer and got into bed
I thought about my exciting new year ahead

I was covered in shivers from my head to my toe
As I acknowledged My Trials are how I will grow
The weight of the world I carried with me
Felt lifted, a bit lighter, I can be free

My eyes, how they twinkled!  My dimple, how merry!
My cheeks were rosy the color of cherries
My smile was genuine and quick
And I flashed my grin with a lick of my lips.

I spoke not a word but went straight to work
Writing this poem trying not to smirk
At last I was done, took a deep breath of air
Closed out the blog, hit save and then share.

I sprang to my feet, brushed my teeth and my hair
Climbed back into bed without a worry or care
In my heart I felt calm, everything was alright
Happy birthday to me I thought and to you a goodnight.

Wandering Minds (50th post)

February 8, 2015 I published my first blog post. Today on July 30, 2016 this will be my 50th. I've had a lot to say, but I was mostly just scratching at the surface of the real underlying issues in many of my wordy ramblings. I write to clear my own head. I don't write to gain followers or create a fan base. I don't even write to help other people out. Someday, maybe, that will be a goal...right now it's for me...and for those of you reading this, you probably won't understand unless you've been in my shoes, or can read my wandering mind

I sent a catty text to the ex yesterday congratulating him and his girlfriend on their two year anniversary. He flew out to meet her for the first time two years ago this week. I wasn't proud of myself after sending it. It was a stupid jab at him that made me realize I'm still holding a lot of anger towards the situation. Two years later and he's still with the same person he cheated on me with and I am not in a relationship like that. I've had a couple of people in and out of my life, and I keep telling myself I don't want to get into anything serious until my kids are out of school...I'm trying to avoid creating any more turmoil in their world. At least that's the excuse I've been using. However, right now, as I try to open myself up to a new relationship, I feel I will still somehow ruin it.

I've been told I talk too much and I'm too loud. I've heard this since grade school. This isn't news to me. But when you hear it again from someone you care about and realize how annoying you can be to them, it hurts. My friends already know this about me...sometimes I am funny, sometimes I am embarrassing, I mean well, and a good majority of the time I am nothing but positive energy. However, when something comes up that reminds you of the crap you were fed from your ex husband for 20 years, it hurts...a lot. I've tried to change. I've tried to think before I speak. I've tried to stay quiet and let things go. It works for some things, but not for everything. I feel the need to explain, and give history, and defend myself, and then fill in details and more history until I have completely exhausted everyone around me. There's a fine line between standing up for yourself and trying to convince someone else of your worth. I have crossed that line in the past and I don't want to do it again. I have also realized that just because I talk a lot, that doesn't make me an expert communicator.

So one of the big huge changes I'm going to make is to be a better listener and talk less. No interrupting, no finishing sentences, no jumping to conclusions. I'm also trying not to swear. Lofty goals...I know. My first fifty posts were pretty ridiculous if you ask me...I've now re-read all of them and I'm embarrassed how much I put out here, and what a mess I went through. As for the next fifty posts? I'm looking forward to seeing growth, maturity, more self respect and less scratching at the surface.

And where my mind wanders to? That is where my heart is. It's risky, but it's worth it...and so am I.