Let me start by saying I don't know anything about sailing. I would like to learn. I think I would really love it. I looked up "Sailing 101" before writing this blog entry, and learned "10 nautical and sailing terms everyone should know". I was immediately prompted to find the connections between life and sailing. Why did this come about? I am currently sitting on a catamaran named Aveia in the Kewalo Basin Harbor in Honolulu. More on that later.
Aft: the back of the ship (or aircraft in my world). Opposite the Bow
Bow: the front of the ship. Knowing the location of the front of the ship is important for defining the next two terms, Port and Starboard.
Port: when facing the Bow, the Port side is the LEFT
Starboard:when facing the Bow, the Starboard is RIGHT
Leeward: also known as lee, Leeward is the OPPOSITE direction that the wind is currently blowing.
Windward: the direction that the wind is currently blowing. Sailboats tend to move WITH the wind, making the windward direction an important sailing term to know.
Boom: the horizontal pole which extends from the bottom of the mast. Adjusting the boom to the direction of the wind is how a sailboat is able to harness power in order to move forwards or backwards.
Rudder: located under the boat, the rudder is a flat piece of wood, fiberglass or metal that is used to steer the ship. Larger sailboats control the rudder using a wheel. Smaller sailboats control the rudder with a steering mechanism directly aft.
Tacking: this basic sailing maneuver refers to turning the bow of the boat through the wind so that the wind changes from on side of the boat to the other side. (The boom of a boat will always shift from one side to the other when performing a tack or a jibe.)
Jibing: The opposite of tacking, this basic sailing maneuver refers to turning the stern of the boat through the wind so that the wind changes from one side of the boat to the other side. (The boom of a boat will always shift from one side to the other when performing a tack or a jibe.)
Remember I said I was currently sitting on a catamaran? How did I get here, and if I know NOTHING about sailing (and I'm not on here to go for a ride) then why am I on a boat? Alone. Enjoying the views and the solitude in Honolulu, and contemplating what all of this has to do with me and sailing?
If you have read any of my blogs, I seem to tell you a story then try to make a connection. Today I am attempting to make the connection, and the story is still developing. I may not be able to tell you all of it. But here is how it began:
I have been on a journey of self discovery, of unbecoming what I once was, and becoming the me that I know. I've broken down bricks, peeled back layers, and shed skin that had built up and blocked my truest self. I have fought long, hard, deep, and nonstop for my voice and my message that I can collect, analyze, organize and share with others. I've sought to inspire and encourage those around me that are ready to do the same.
One of the absolute hardest things for me to do recently was admit the past five years have caused me to be a financial failure. The first of those five years, I worked as a flight attendant, leaving a 20 year career in dental, and moving from nearly $50k/year to $16k/year. It destroyed me. At the time, I made the move so my children would have flight benefits to see their father who had moved to Minnesota. I needed a change myself, and followed a lifelong dream of mine to pursue this new career. I honestly saw the possibility of increasing my income over time. I did not realize the huge impact this decision would make.
A year later, I picked up a "second job", but that second job was full time, Monday through Friday. There were periods of time I worked over 40 days without a day off. This lasted for two full years. I became sick, depressed, tired, irritable, miserable, short of breath, achey, and fat. Holy cow was I ever gaining weight at record speed. I couldn't get enough sleep or food. Always hungry, always tired, always mad, and the worst was, I was disappointed in myself. Not only disappointed, but embarrassed. Dare I say, I hated myself. I hated putting my kids in a position to have access to free lunches (which they wouldn't use because they too were embarrassed), of being on medicaid, and for a short time, collecting food stamp assistance. I was angry. I was resentful. I was not who I was made to be.
The fourth year I got sick. So sick I had emergency blood transfusions and a year of iron treatments. All of my veins in my arms were blown, so I went through surgery to receive a power port and started getting treatments through that instead. I had to take leave completely from the airline job, and was gone quite a bit from my other job as well. I had two more surgeries during this time as well, on my shoulder and foot. Money again decreased and I had to accept a lot of help from my mother. At the end of this year, I decided to make a huge change. I decided I had not been giving myself the care or love that I deserve. I had been single nearly 4 1/2 years at this point and jealous of my friends that were in relationships, and here I was single and no prospects of a healthy relationship in sight. I knew I couldn't accept any one else's love unless I loved myself, but I had no idea how to do that yet. The 5th year would turn out to be pivotal and powerful.
This April, I saw a friend of mine that had transformed herself in a few short months. While I am mostly talking appearance and weight, I also saw her self-confidence skyrocket. I felt prompted to follow her journey and start getting a handle on myself. Over the course of the next 6 months, from May to November, I lost nearly 60 pounds. Aside from the physical weight that was shed, I also shed decades of emotions and past trauma that had been weighing me down as well. I was seen for a followup medical appointment at the beginning of September. My health had improved fully, and I was released from medical leave by my doctors and given permission to return to flying. This put me in a difficult situation with my second job, as I had just received my teaching credentials and had started teaching 9th grade Business Computer Applications for the Nampa School District. However, I had not gotten my contract yet, and had to decided what direction I would choose...
