WANTS - Day 4

Well, after yesterdays post about fears, I spent a good portion of the day and night dwelling on those. Mostly about the sabotaging of relationships and driving people away from me. Funny thing was pointed out to me...the conversations I have in my head are always so much worse than conversations in real life. I will start my list of wants right there:

1. I want to live in the present. Stop worrying about the "what if's" of the future and the "should have's" of the past. I want to make the best choices with the information I have available RIGHT NOW. I want to enjoy this day, this hour, this moment.

2. I want to drive out fear with love. I said in my post of nine loves that I am learning to love myself. I want to learn faster. I do believe that I can replace many of my fears with love. I think this will help myself tremendously, but it will also help my children see my strength and determination to be a gracious, compassionate, happy person that isn't afraid to live life to the fullest.

3. I want to have adventures. I want to make every day an adventure in even the smallest way. Find or do and appreciate something amazing that I normally wouldn't do. Salsa dancing lesson was an adventure. My summer road trips will be adventures. I also want to accomplish big adventures ...bucket list adventures.

4. I want my great love. I want to be needed, appreciated, spoiled a little, taken care of but above all else, LOVED. It doesn't have to be this instant...I just want to know love like this exists for me.  

5. I want my children to be okay. Actually, better than okay. I want them to be successful, determined, happy and well rounded. I am trying to show them by example, but sometimes fail in several areas on any given day. I keep trying though. I want them to know how important they are and how much each of them are loved and that I admire them for their resilience. I think my kids are pretty amazing. I am so proud of each one of them.

6. I want to be out of debt. I want to have flexibility in my work situation so I don't have to constantly make enough money to just get by each month.

7. I want to be at peace. I want to let go of the hurt and anger and malice I feel. I want to let others make their own decisions about where and how I fit into their life and accept whatever the outcome is. I want to make my own decisions about where and how other people will fit into my life and release the ones that don't fit. I just want everything to be okay...