Bounce baby bounce

This is the life.  I'm worn out today...and here is the reason why:

Yesterday I received an email regarding a trampoline that was available if someone would come out to Eagle and pick it up.  Let me explain something about trampolines and my daughter Emily.  Every birthday (December 23rd) and every Christmas, this was the first thing, and sometimes the ONLY thing, she requested as a present from about the age of 5. So, for the last 13 years, I have been bombarded with this one request. I've always wanted them to have one, and the three other kids wanted one as well, just not as desperately as Emily.  I wasn't a huge fan when the kids were smaller, but they always played on them at friends' houses, and there hasn't been a single trampoline related injury in all the years I've been raising kids (knock on wood). I replied back to the email to see if it was still available, and it WAS!

This afternoon we drove out to the home in Eagle, helped the owner disassemble it, loaded it into the back of Emily's truck and brought it home.  I had Nathan, Emily and Elizabeth help me assemble it in the backyard, and then the fun began. It was a beautiful day today, plenty of sunshine, laughter, music, and just all around anti-gravity experiences.  I'm feeling blessed to be able to give the kids something they have had a serious longing for, and all it took was some elbow grease and time out of our day to get it done.  Thank you James and Alice.  You just made me look like the best mom on earth today!

I will tell you this, you may find me on the trampoline just as much as the kids.  I love being on them, I love being silly and carefree. I always wanted to be on an episode of the Man Show "Girls on Trampolines". (okay, maybe that was a bit of a stretch)

Since I don't have a hammock at this house, I think the trampoline will provide a different kind of relaxation and fun. It's also a great place to take a nap, or even camp out overnight. Is there anything better than bouncing out your troubles? And Lord knows, I have enough on my mind that if bouncing was all it took to get ones troubles worked out, I'd be on that thing nonstop for days.

Infamous relatable quotes taken from Tigger:

"Oh Boy! You mean I can have my bounce back? Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!"

"Say, I'm so happy I feel like bouncing!"

"Er, jump? Tiggers don't jump, they bounce!"

"Come on Rabbit, let's you and me bounce, huh?"

"Well, I gotta go now. I've got a lotta bouncin' to do.  T-T-F-N. ta ta for now!"

And yes friends, you may come visit and we will bounce.  If I don't answer the door, come around back. 

Pushing the Limits- a seriously long post

this blog is about "Limitless Linda", how I seek out new adventures to push my limits and break out of comfort zones I once found so familiar and safe.  That being said, Friday was completely about having my limits tested in SO many facets of my life.

My morning began in my most favorite way, coffee with my best friend. We visited for a couple of hours until I had to run to St Luke's for an appointment.  I had made a "to-do list" over coffee and was feeling motivated to take full advantage of my day off.

The to-do list began with a shoulder physical therapy appointment. (I have a rotator cuff injury that has been getting worked on for 5 weeks.) Yesterday was an evaluation to see when I would be released from therapy.  I was tested with 9 different strength exercises and at the end of my 30 minute appointment, I could not even lift a 1 lb barbell laterally.  I had exhausted my shoulder to complete failure.  My limits were pushed, and met.  I passed the evaluation and only have to come back once a week for the next two sessions before I'm released.   Limits tested...CHECK!

Next on my list was the Social Security Administration.  I ran home to shower and dress up for the day.  It was supposed to be in the 70's and I felt the need to look cute and be summery.  Legs shaved...check.  I'd obviously been neglecting that because a) it's been winter and b) who do I have to care about my legs?! Just having my legs shaved and a sundress on gave me a boost of happiness.  I was ready to tackle social security so I could legally change my last name back to Wallace.  I grabbed the paperwork I needed and headed out.  Upon my arrival at SSA, I was greeted by a full room of people and a line at the check in kiosk. I patiently waited and when it was my turn, I asked the security guard which option I needed.  The machine gave me my number and I found a place to sit and patiently wait. (I'm working on becoming a more patient person, remember?)

While waiting, I decided to read through the thick packet of papers and find the place that mentioned I had been restored to my maiden name during the divorce.  It was a good thing I became bored and got out the papers...I had grabbed the wrong thick envelope.  I got up, threw away my number, and sheepishly told the guard I would return with the correct set of papers.  So, after a drive back to Meridian, back to Boise, through the kiosk check in process again, waiting with the CORRECT set of papers in hand, and being helped by the nicest of all clerks in the office (Melissa), I officially became Linda Wallace, according to the government and its powers that be.  Limits tested...CHECK!

What would be more fun than going straight to the DMV on a beautiful sunny day? Nothing!  By this time, my Friday morning had ended and it was 12:35pm when I got to the only building in all of Ada County to make changes to a drivers license. I pulled my number and saw I had 63 people ahead of me numerically.  I settled in for the duration and people watched...fast forward an hour. Still 23 people ahead of me numerically, because NOT ONLY were the numbers being called in sequence, (212, 213, 214) but there would be random insertions of numbers in the 400 and 600 range as well.  I have NO IDEA how many customers were called ahead of me, but I do know I rested my head on the wall behind me and dozed off at one point and woke up when I felt a tiny drop of drool attempting to escape my lips. My number was called at 1:57.  I produced the paperwork needed for name and address change, took an eye test, a new photo, and paid my fee.  I left the DMV and walked out into the gorgeous sunshine at 2:09pm.  Limits tested...CHECK!

I had an appointment scheduled at Edward Jones at 2pm that I had to push back due to the delay at the DMV, but I was still able to be seen when I arrived. My financial advisor and I began playing the games with PERSI and Great West in order to get the ball rolling on having money transferred into my account.  I learned that even through the QDRO process, if I wanted to cash out any money to pay off the debt incurred during the divorce, I would be looking at nearly a 42% penalty on the money withdrawn.  HOLY $#!@! 25% federal tax, 7% state tax and a 10% early withdrawal penalty? SERIOUSLY.  Limits tested...CHECK!

I left Edward Jones just before 4pm. I had planned to be at Storyfort at 5pm and scheduled to paint at 7pm. I made another quick trip back to my house to grab a change of clothes for painting, a protein shake and to drop off all the paperwork in my car.  I had to gas up my car on my way and texted Alex from the Boise Creative Center to see if parking was available in his lot. Downtown Boise was completely crazy due to the Treefort Music Festival AND the fact it was a Friday right before 5pm.  I found a spot in his lot, paid my fee, and headed to the Linen Building for some story telling.  My name was drawn FIRST again to come up on stage and tell my five minute off the cuff story.  I decided to share my ONE WEEK experience about having a profile on Tinder and OKCupid. (That's a whole blog in itself) Serious limits tested...CHECK!

Time to paint!!! I walked from the Linen Building through Grove Street and looked at a few vendor booths. I signed up to be a bone marrow donor, because, why not? Maybe I can help save a life someday.  I changed clothes in my car and was just in time to get set up in the studio for a fun night of painting.  I had decided earlier in the day that I wanted to paint two canvases and saw I was set up in my "regular seat" with the extra supplies.  It was an awesome experience.  I took the one picture that everyone else in the class was painting on one canvas, and stretched mine out mentally to extend the length of two canvases.  This was only my 5th painting experience... I think I'm starting to get it.  Limits tested...CHECK!

I got home around 11:30pm and decided to sit out back on the phone, sharing the details of my day with my bestie, and to enjoy the end of a perfectly gorgeous day with a cup of coffee (I know, it was almost midnight, but time means nothing when it comes to a good cup of coffee). I kept hearing the sound of geese and thought it was strange that they were so loud that late at night. There must have been some type of predator nearby.  The geese noises kept going, getting louder then fainter, then a really strange screaming sound. I wondered to myself if one of them got attacked and was being killed nearby. Then I heard a loud grunt and some explitives that I shall not share here... Oh. My. Gawd. My backyard neighbors bedroom window was open and they were getting it on.  NEED I SAY MORE?

THE REST OF MY LIMITS TESTED... DOUBLE CHECK!

Wait, no, I'm limitless...please keep pushing my buttons universe. I'm learning to enjoy it.

Self Incarceration - A prisoner of the mind

I heard the footsteps getting louder and louder, the sound of thick rubber-soled, steel-toed work boots slapping against the cold concrete corridor.  I heard the rhythmic clanking of keys against his duty belt with each step he took. I saw the outline of his towering frame through the tempered glass window of the steel cage, watched him pause before each cell window and duck his head down for bed check.  I watched as he walked away, leaving me alone for another 15 minutes, feeling the need to tear another notch in the paper I used for keeping track of time. The sound of his footsteps becoming so faint that even once they disappeared I tried to convince myself I could hear something other than the sounds of the sobs that had consumed my body.  Eventually, without warning, the lights dimmed, a signal that it was 10:00 p.m. and time to sleep.  Too dark to read, too light to sleep, the glow from the florescent lighting produced an annoying state of wakefulness. 

If you have enjoyed this excerpt from "No Really, I'm Fine" 

then please stay with me over the next three years or so 

while I finish writing my real life/fiction novel.

I can only hope that after three years I will have a proper ending for the book!

What is a prisoner of the mind?  Here are some YAHOO answers: 

This happens when we become imprisoned in our beliefs and don't allow for any alteration of them.  If we believe something is correct or true we shut our mind off to any further input or discussion. We should strive to keep our minds open and welcome the thoughts of others and truly synthesize the knowledge available to all of us.

I'm not positive on this, but I think that it is like when a person has something really intense on their mind, maybe something that wasn't good or right, and they haven't come to any conclusion or peace with it, thereby making a person a "prisoner of their own mind."

I think I might know what does it mean. It's like a prisoner is locked up inside a jail cell, one is locked up inside our own head.  We are prisoner of our feelings and judgement and no matter how hard you try to get away from it you won't go anywhere because they are inside of you and within you.  You can't just stop being you...(this saying is very deep...)

Hmmm, while these are very interesting perspectives given by three random individuals, I have my own take on what this means.

It is a quick trip to become a prisoner of your own mind.  It is easy to get wrapped up in yourself, in your everyday drama and become consumed with the me...me...me... mentality. I'm not saying there aren't perfectly appropriate times to feel this way.  Any major life changing event can throw you into this state.  The difference is whether you let yourself be a VISITOR or become a PRISONER.  Death, divorce, job loss, any complicated life decision can qualify as a trigger. Anything that consumes you. An event that destroys your desire to move forward.  A grief so large that you become paralyzed.   Any of these can prove to be a probable cause for self incarceration.  Why that word?  Why SELF INCARCERATION?  You are still in control.  You can make a conscious decision to wallow, be in despair, self destruct, wither away and truly have your happiness DIE.  Yet you can also make a conscious decision to allow yourself the time and space and privacy to be a visitor in that darkness and remember to exit when the visiting hours are over.  Don't check yourself in. Don't give up and don't willingly submit to being a prisoner.  

I've been there...the food isn't good.

Thinking outside the box (of girl scout cookies)

I've had the blues lately.  It's been a challenge getting a grip on myself and my emotions over a variety of reasons, some of which I can't share publicly until April is over.  I thought maybe some fresh air would do me good.  Today the weather was looking alright for a while, so I got my lawn mower from the X and went to town on my yard.  I finished mowing the front and back just in time for the rains to unleash their fury.  After coming back inside and cleaning up, I laid in my bed listening to the storm outside, and felt the one still brewing inside as well.  

Today is the first day of spring break.  The kids were restless and wanting to get out and do things, but we all just settling for lounging around.  I began thinking of the rainy day boxes that I made for the kids to keep them entertained when they were younger.  Then I really started focusing on my rainy day box.  Inside of it, hand written on slips of paper, ideas of things to do with a loved one on a cold, snowy or wet rainy day. Unfortunately, I will have to wait to use those slips of paper, but I can do something else for myself that may help me get out of my FUNK and from under this dark cloud that seems to be ever present right now.

I need my own box.  My shitty mood, lonely funk, empty hole in my heart box... Screw the rainy days ideas...it's spring and every other day it will rain and the slips in the box will get all used up.  I am important and I need to make sure I am taken care of properly in order to take care of my kids, and I can ONLY depend on me for that.  No same sex or opposite sex friend is going to make me feel better if I don't ALLOW myself to feel better.  I can make up excuses or deny the issues, but it really just comes down to a simple decision I have touched on before.  Am I going to CHOOSE to be happy or not?

I've done so many things...more new things in just a few months than many people do in years: painting, travel, dancing, performing, story telling, music, movies, cooking, dreaming... It still comes down to missing the one person I want to do all those things with, or at least come home to at the end of my busy day doing them.  I AM happy.  I'm just sad at the same time.

I will make my own virtual rainy day box just for me and these are the things I will fill it with:

• Memories of good times with friends
• Handwritten notes expressing gratitude to those who are helping me through hard times
• Favorite songs that make me feel better
• Photographs that make me smile
• A good book to read
• Phone calls to my parents and kids
• Meeting friends for coffee

After exhausting all of the above, there is always the option to nap...or just give in and open the damn box of Girl Scout cookies.

Emotional Maturity

In the last 24 hours, I have successfully run through all of these emotions... ALL OF THEM!

Considering there are 12 emotions listed, and 24 hours in a day, it would have been nice to equally divide my time with 2 hours in each mood.  INSTEAD, I had the joy of being stuck in just a couple of these with intermittent fleeting glimpses of the remaining emotions.  I can't specifically say who, what, when, where, or why I had the pleasure of experiencing this, but I'm glad I did.  

Yes, that's right. I appreciated everything I went through. I needed a wake up call.  Well, really it was more like a "stay awake" call.  I keep looking back on the past seven months with awe and wonder, amazed that I've made such huge strides in some areas of my life, yet disappointed I'm lacking in many others. I'm taking inventory of the areas I still see the need for improvement.  Emotional maturity is a pretty big area for me that needs work.  

It is one thing to be on an emotional roller coaster ride for twenty years, and a completely different experience to get off that ride and get on the teacups.  Even though the teacups sound tame, it's still a new sensation when compared with space mountain.  After twenty years, you know what to expect. You've been programmed to accept certain aspects of your life, whether you are happy with them or not. Life becomes pretty predictable.  The teacups however...the spinning, the thrill, the nausea, the laughs.  It is COMPLETELY different.  After being on this ride long enough, I'll get used to it.  I'll know what to expect.  I'll know how to handle myself and keep myself protected.  I'll know not to eat before I get on the ride.  

I've come to realize that along with everything else that is changing in my life, my emotions and thought processes also need to evolve, mature and grow.  In order to allow myself that freedom, I am going through a deprogramming process.  I am literally unlearning behaviors, unbelieving thoughts, purging sensory triggers, dumping negativity and emptying my mind of everything I used to believe, perceive and assume.  I should have done this a long time ago.

Just like the desire to acquire patience brings on a myriad of challenges in order to learn patience, the desire to gain a control over ones emotions must also bring on a rush of out of control emotions for us to practice with. Be careful what you want to improve with yourself.  I have a feeling it just presents more of the same trait testing trials of what you're attempting to fix.  I need to remember, one area of my life at a time please. I can do this. I'll be fine.  I'm always fine.  It's just another thing that takes time, and patience.  The story of my life right now.

My counselor should be proud of me. I'm finally exhibiting cracks in my wall of strength I constructed.  I'm more human now.  I also don't feel like I need to avoid people or more specifically, men in general. I am free to open up when I am ready. I know I'll eventually get there, but I'm not feeling a rush to push myself to that point. Another area that takes time, patience and the right emotional outlook.  I know what I want years down the road. The funny thing is, I'm ready for what I want for my future, I'm just not ready for the present.

So, while I am a work in progress, hang on and enjoy the ride with me. It won't be too bad, I promise.  Every day my highs are so much better and more prominent than the lows.

Calvin and Hobbes

I absolutely love days when everything I want to write can be expressed in pictures, and even better, through cartoons.
Have a beautiful day!

The wisdom of Calvin and Hobbes

Life is full of ups and downs.

Those ups and downs are harder if you don't express your emotions verbally.

Sometimes you want more than just happiness.

Enjoy the moment

Take time to star gaze.

You'll look back someday and finally get it.



There are days when you just need a big hug to make everything better.

You may not be something to everybody, but to somebody you are everything.

Spend your time wisely



Give it time, and you will see how much things have changed by this time next year.

Coolest Kids in the World

This post is dedicated to my four children, and my friends with children.
Adapted from a post from my daughter "Signs You Have The Coolest Mom In The World"

SIGNS YOU HAVE THE COOLEST KIDS IN THE WORLD

1. Your kids aren't embarrassed to have their friends around you.

2. They respect your role as their parent first, friend second.

3. Your kids will come to you with their problems because they trust you to listen.

4. They don't get embarrassed when you cheer them on, sometimes loudly, at their events.

5.  They let you in on their inside jokes.

6.  They stick around long enough for introductions to strangers and listen to you brag about them.

7.  They still ask you to do things that are inconvenient because they know you will do them.

8.  They call and check in with you because they know you worry about them, too much.

9.  They know how to behave and keep their word to earn your trust.

10.  They make mistakes and take correction as needed.

11.  They allow you to be a kid right along side them, and encourage your silly side.

12.  Other adults compliment your children's behavior in public.

13.  They have a wicked sense of humor, kinda like what you gave them.

14. Even when they are mad at you, you still know they love you.

15.  When asked who their biggest hero is, they reply "my mom" or "my dad".

16.  You can't imagine who you would be as a person if you hadn't had them.

17.  You get to see some of your best traits living on in them.

18.  They realize you are human and forgive you when you screw up.

I am truly blessed to see the above in combination throughout my four children.  I work hard to make sure they know I will always be their biggest fan and their protector.  I am so happy to see the hard work put into raising them is paying off.  I am nowhere near the end of parenting though...I'll always mother them.  I know this because I see how much I still depend on my own mother.  I'm incredibly lucky to still have her alive and a part of my life.  I have several friends who have been without their own mothers for many years, and I realize how much I take that relationship for granted.

I've noticed since I'm in a new house (not the house I lived in when I was married) I've had to create a feeling of home and provide a sense of security here as well.  It's a challenge doing so...being the provider, protector, peace-keeper, authoritarian and good cop/bad cop all at once.  There are times when I lack the sense of security and protectiveness that comes from having a man in the house.  I'm learning it's not that hard to get through those times.  It just takes me a moment to refocus and know that everything is going to be alright.  A lot of that sense of security comes from within.  The rest comes from having a friend that will remind you everything is going to be okay.  Being mom, being myself, is enough for my kids.  They trust me, they love me, and they know I always have their best interest in mind.

I have ended up having the kids more than half because of the school schedule and the fact we hate seeing them switch off houses in the middle of the week.  I know they are getting less time than they are supposed to with their dad.  It's not intentional for me to do that, and I do feel guilty about him not seeing them as much as he is supposed to be able to, but I know this stuff will work itself out.  I'm learning that in order to be important to your children, you do not have to be physically present every day.  I look at a lot of my friends in this situation.  Some go a full week or two weeks or more between custody.  Some won't see their kids for a month or more.  Does this make that parent any less important in their life? Absolutely not.  If anything, I think the time physically spent with your children becomes more important the less you see them.  I can relate this to my daughter Elaine in college.  I have only gotten to spend a few days with her since a year ago when I dropped her off in Coos Bay, Oregon.  A few days in August, November and December.  (Sorry if this is wrong Elaine)

There is always something going on in your kids lives.  When you see them daily, it's easy to keep up on or at least, feel like you know what's happening.  After a week away, there is a lot of news to catch up on.  After two weeks away, even more has happened and you may not hear about most of it, just the high or low points.  After a month, a disconnect seems to happen and you miss out on a lot of happenings and just get the major points.  Longer than a month and that's when things get weird for me.  I am thankful Elaine calls me and checks in and tells me events that are happening in her daily life.  Soon Emily will be graduating and off to college as well.  I am going to have twice the number of kids to keep up with, and still two at home to keep daily tabs on.

So, here's my advice... If your mother is still alive, call her.  Keep her updated on your life. Don't make her sit around a guess what's happening or worry why she hasn't heard from you.  If your mother has passed away, remember how much she meant in your life and go hug your own kids! Be present for them.  If they are not with you, call them and tell them you love them. (I'll call you in a little bit Elaine)  Either way, present or not, you are just as important to your kids, maybe even MORE important, than they are to you.  I forget this myself sometimes.  I get busy wrapped up taking care of daily tasks, and realize all they want sometimes is to hear I love them and I'm proud of them.  Of course I feel that way.  I just need to make sure they hear it more often.

And last but not least...

19.  Because they are YOUR KIDS, and seriously, why wouldn't they be cool? Look at yourself!

3 Ring Circus in my head

I'm ready to meet new people.  Not just meet them, but get to know them.  I don't want to have relationships with them, but if you truly believe the phrase above, about everyone passing through our life for a reason, then why not meet new people?  I don't think everyone we meet will provide a profound lesson.  I don't believe we have to even keep the people we meet in our lives for very long. "Passing through our lives" is an important part of the message above.  

RING ONE:

Having said that I am ready to meet new people, I am definitely not ready to date. Socialize, yes.  Group activities, yes.  Do I have a fear of intimacy? Maybe. Am I afraid of getting burned? Probably. Do I trust people? Not very many. Am I ready for a relationship? No. At the same time I am realizing how incredibly lonely I am when I don't have anyone around to talk to, or activities to participate in, or work to do.  I am a social creature. I also think I might be becoming a bit high maintenance.

RING TWO:

I want a lot of attention lathered on me, and I want to be the only one that person is paying attention to.  I miss holding hands and being held and having my hair brushed from my face.  I miss romance.  I haven't been in a relationship that I've gotten spoiled in since high school/college. That isn't how it works "these days".  Everybody out there seems to be getting to know two, three, four or more people and becoming friends with them all.  Everyone gets a piece of the attention pie.  Casual dating and even more casual hook-ups. Everybody seems to be keeping their options open for the next better thing that comes along, or at least the best person to fill the void for right now.  The people in the dating pool that I know are either not looking for anything serious, or who say they aren't, but hoping they can change the man's mind after screwing with him long enough. What the hell is going on? Is everyone having a commitment crisis or just afraid to get hurt again?  Or just self serving?  What am I expected to do? Jump on the bandwagon and become part of the casual dating pool, no-strings attached, love me and leave me?  While I'm waiting years for what I'm hoping will be a Mr. Right, let someone be my Mr. Right Now? 

RING THREE:

I have NO plans of marriage in the future.  I also have NO DESIRE to spend my life alone. I'm scared I'll be rejected and I'm afraid I am going to scare away every man that steps foot near me. I have been trained over my lifetime to be motherly. Now I am supposed to separate that out and learn to not be overbearing. I want my independence, but I also don't want so much that I feel insignificant to the person I'm with.  I want the other person to have independence, but I don't want to worry about trust.  I have too many insecurities still.  I am not ready for this new era of dating where there is a flavor of the week, or month, and everyone stays friends for life.  I think I have just come to the conclusion that I am definitely NOT ready to meet people. Or even spend time with people. I should probably steer clear of all men.  I will be making another appointment with my counselor for Friday.

Thank you for helping me work through that. 

Brought to you by the nagging voices in my head, the letter X and the number 33. Additional sponsors are doubt, insecurity and panic.

What do YOU want?

I spent all of last night and most of today with questions swirling around in my head, and the question of what I WANT was the biggest of them all.  This is a question that will have a different answer each time I am asked. Right NOW I want to go to sleep, but can't.  An hour ago I wanted ice cream.  Yesterday I wanted the answers to my life's mystery...where am I headed, how am I going to get there, and what will it look like when I arrive.  I WANT answers.  I feel like I NEED answers.  I can't handle the answers. 

Today I was able to talk through my thoughts and feeling with a friend and got what I wanted, and what I needed for the time being.  I'm not looking for answers anymore. I'm looking for the journey that will take me step by step through the next phases of my life.  I've recently taken enough time to analyze myself and the outrageous months I have been through.  I have been doing what I want (painting and dancing) and going where I want (Atlanta and Sandpoint) and spending time with who I want.  I've been keeping myself busy in order to avoid thinking about the real question that had been nagging me.  WHAT DO I WANT? What is my long term goal in my life after my kids are raised and it's just me out there?  

Before I can answer that big question, there's a little question to answer.  Am I happy? I am very lucky to be able to answer yes to that.  I have discovered that the reason I have been keeping myself so busy is my way to make sure I am doing things that make me happy. Here's the key to happiness:

You know, it really should be as easy as that.  If you're not happy, change something. It will be something different for everyone.  I want to make sure that the answer to that question of what I want will be answered with "I want to be happy".  I want to keep being able to answer yes to that question every day of my life. If ever I perceive that I am not happy, I will follow the chart above to get there. 

I know that if I keep choosing to stay busy with things that keep me happy, I will find what I need in all the other areas of my life.  I know the things that I need as well.  Friendship, trust, security, love, honesty and loyalty.  If anyone is lucky enough to find all of this with one person, I think they've hit the jackpot.  

I want to always say yes to the question, "are you happy?"

I want the jackpot.

Interviewing My Replacement

Hiring the help

Casting call for new wife

Interviewing my replacement

All possible chapter titles for the real life stories in the book I'm writing.  I have to say, I am full of all kinds of surprises.  I had no idea how much strength, composure, and positive energy I was made of.

I received an email from my ex's new girlfriend.  She wanted to reach out and get to know me, and let me get to know her.  I really wanted to share some of the questions asked in our series of correspondence, but I have chosen to refrain. As awkward as I thought it would be, I was able to reply to several emails and portray my feelings and concerns in a very mature and polite manner.  It was surprisingly easy to do since I am completely content with my life, and honestly wish that for my ex as well.  I am happy that my children will not be subjected to unnecessary conflict.

She did ask me if I had any tattoos. Turns out we both do, and the Ex hates tattoos. I laughed about that a little, because she is planning on getting more. I told her mine came in college, 23 years ago. I didn't do the math for her, I'm sure she did that on her own.  She would have been FOUR when I got my college tattoos.  Agh!!!  Also, when we got married, she was the same age as our flower girl. DOUBLE AGH!  I've come to terms with this.  I'm glad the Ex will have someone to take care of him as he grows older (she won't be growing quite as older).  I make jokes, but really I'm just glad he's put himself in line to raise another family, and I am within six years of getting mine through school and onto the next chapter in life.

I'm really looking forward to being a part in the lives of my adult children (two over 18 already) and continuing to help the younger ones choose their path and set goals for their future.  Daniel gets to register for high school next week.  He's playing freshman baseball this spring.  He will be old enough for drivers ed this summer.  Life seems to be moving ahead at full speed, and I am hoping I can keep up and enjoy the ride the whole time.  Before long, I'll be down to one at home, and then none.  Goals for my own future?  There's so many options.  As I'm helping my son plan for his, I should also start thinking more seriously about mine!  As for my immediate future, I plan on taking life one day at a time.  Tomorrow I am painting again, Sunday I am watching burlesque, and next week there's bunco. In between all those fun activities, there will be plenty of home cooked meals, baseball and track practices, homework, and lots of prayers. I'm happy I have so much to plan for, be grateful for, and new people to meet....even if one of those is my replacement.

Creating kindness

I don't feel the desire to write much, but I do want to share my inspiration and goal for today.

I have today off. I am prepared to perform random acts of kindness. 

And if all of the above isn't enough to get you motivated to be kind, this is your last resort:

I'd love to hear about your random acts of kindness today!