Self Incarceration - A prisoner of the mind

I heard the footsteps getting louder and louder, the sound of thick rubber-soled, steel-toed work boots slapping against the cold concrete corridor.  I heard the rhythmic clanking of keys against his duty belt with each step he took. I saw the outline of his towering frame through the tempered glass window of the steel cage, watched him pause before each cell window and duck his head down for bed check.  I watched as he walked away, leaving me alone for another 15 minutes, feeling the need to tear another notch in the paper I used for keeping track of time. The sound of his footsteps becoming so faint that even once they disappeared I tried to convince myself I could hear something other than the sounds of the sobs that had consumed my body.  Eventually, without warning, the lights dimmed, a signal that it was 10:00 p.m. and time to sleep.  Too dark to read, too light to sleep, the glow from the florescent lighting produced an annoying state of wakefulness. 

If you have enjoyed this excerpt from "No Really, I'm Fine" 

then please stay with me over the next three years or so 

while I finish writing my real life/fiction novel.

I can only hope that after three years I will have a proper ending for the book!

What is a prisoner of the mind?  Here are some YAHOO answers: 

This happens when we become imprisoned in our beliefs and don't allow for any alteration of them.  If we believe something is correct or true we shut our mind off to any further input or discussion. We should strive to keep our minds open and welcome the thoughts of others and truly synthesize the knowledge available to all of us.

I'm not positive on this, but I think that it is like when a person has something really intense on their mind, maybe something that wasn't good or right, and they haven't come to any conclusion or peace with it, thereby making a person a "prisoner of their own mind."

I think I might know what does it mean. It's like a prisoner is locked up inside a jail cell, one is locked up inside our own head.  We are prisoner of our feelings and judgement and no matter how hard you try to get away from it you won't go anywhere because they are inside of you and within you.  You can't just stop being you...(this saying is very deep...)

Hmmm, while these are very interesting perspectives given by three random individuals, I have my own take on what this means.

It is a quick trip to become a prisoner of your own mind.  It is easy to get wrapped up in yourself, in your everyday drama and become consumed with the me...me...me... mentality. I'm not saying there aren't perfectly appropriate times to feel this way.  Any major life changing event can throw you into this state.  The difference is whether you let yourself be a VISITOR or become a PRISONER.  Death, divorce, job loss, any complicated life decision can qualify as a trigger. Anything that consumes you. An event that destroys your desire to move forward.  A grief so large that you become paralyzed.   Any of these can prove to be a probable cause for self incarceration.  Why that word?  Why SELF INCARCERATION?  You are still in control.  You can make a conscious decision to wallow, be in despair, self destruct, wither away and truly have your happiness DIE.  Yet you can also make a conscious decision to allow yourself the time and space and privacy to be a visitor in that darkness and remember to exit when the visiting hours are over.  Don't check yourself in. Don't give up and don't willingly submit to being a prisoner.  

I've been there...the food isn't good.